The Many MAGA Mr. Tates

06/08/2024

Back in the 1960s there was a rather popular sitcom called “Bewitched.” I loved watching the re-runs on syndication growing up in the 70s. Samantha, the witch and star of the show, had married a mere mortal and try as she may, just couldn’t fit in with the other mortals in the neighborhood. As much as her husband Darren loved her, she just couldn’t keep her crazy relatives from popping in and causing havoc from time to time. With a twitch of her nose, she could smooth things over…or cause more havoc. Darren’s own boss, Mr. Tate, would occasionally get swooped up in the fray. One thing that always stood out about Mr. Tate which annoyed me was his ability to suck up to his clients in such a dishonest way. He would change his mind and side with his clients’ opinion in a snap. He was so phony. Even at a very young age I hated his flip flopping and dishonest brown nosing, but I thought it was fiction. For the most part it was. Flash forward to modern day politics, the death of Republican party as we knew it and the rise of MAGA. Donald Trump has the new “republican” party, the far right MAGA wing of the party, by the proverbial man parts. And from this strange stronghold he has on the party, a whole crop of modern day “Mr. Tates” have sprung up out of the dark, dank Trump cellar.

If you’re confused by this analogy, give me some time to explain it and provide you with a few examples. There are a handful of old school Republicans who have refused to kiss the ring of Sir Trump because they have either found him abhorrent or because they realize that there isn’t anything conservative about him. They haven’t been swept into the carnival show. They are true Republicans that don’t want anything to do with the Trump brand. Those Republicans haven’t been shy about how they feel about Trump. In return, the thin skinned, former reality show host did what he does best – mock, insult, bully or name-call the actual person who dared to not bend the knee. Once this Republican was maligned by Trump, in true fashion, the minions who idolize him would duplicate his put downs. After hundreds of his flock, including some of his yes-men and sycophants, dragged said Republican through the mud, there was nowhere to go but down. Some left DC, some retired and some did a 180 to become a Mr. Tate.

So, what’s a Mr. Tate in the merry old land of Trump? A Mr. Tate adores Trump (at least, in public.) The sun rises and sets in Trump. When Trump was president, the world was sunshine and roses! The US prospered 1000%! Everyone was happy! Trump is smart! Trump signed the best executive orders! Trump was respected around the world! There were no wars! The price of gas was so low because of Trump! Trump is a manly man! A man for the people! Everyone in the country LOVED him and everyone voted for him! The way Trump is praised is nausea inducing. The accolades are not only exaggerated but cringeworthy because anyone who isn’t a sycophant (and possesses eyes and ears) recognizes that the newly christened felon isn’t this flawless superhero.

I can find so many examples of these brown nosers, but I will give you the best of the best. Without further ado, Trump’s Mr. Tates…class of 2024……

Tim Scott, Senator from SC and hopeful VP pick, has blamed Biden and the Dems for everything that’s ever gone wrong since January 20, 2021. Scott has refused to say if he’ll accept the results of the election if Trump loses. Trump has also said that Scott has been better for his campaign than himself. Scott praises his dear leader whenever he gets in front of a camera and at one rally, he went up to the microphone, unprompted and said, “I just love you.” Oh, the cringe!

JD Vance, Senator from Ohio and another VP hopeful, who was skeptical of Trump in the beginning but has turned into a believer. Vance has been called a rising star in the Republican party and a defender of “America first” movement. Vance never turns down an opportunity to go in front of a TV camera and gush about Trump. Vance said once, “Not only will I continue doing everything I can to help elect President Trump, but I will do what I can to help ensure he has more allies in the House and Senate.” Do we need more?

Marco Rubio, Senator from FL, also a probable VP pick, lamented repeatedly how Donald Trump’s legal woes were so unfair! Has compared Trump's hush money trial to the plight of the Cubans after Castro's revolution.  Rubio has also said that he “felt safer” and the country was “more prosperous” under Trump. Funny thing is that Rubio despised Trump in 2016 when he himself was also running for president, calling him vulgar and a con man. I guess once he got a whiff of that VP spot, Trump’s vulgarness didn’t matter as long as “little Marco,” as he was so eloquently called by the grifter in chief, got that #2 spot. I don’t think those daily Bible verses on Twitter that he would post ever mentioned dropping one messiah for a narcissistic politician. Nevertheless, let us pray.

There is a plethora of other Mr. Tates who degenerate themselves for Lord Trump all in the name of praises and “atta boys” from their hero. There are the sycophants who turned up in NYC during his trial to “speak” for him while his gag order was in full effect. Weirdos like Tommy Turberville, Matt Gaetz, Vivek Ramaswamy, Byron Donalds and the Speaker of the House himself, MAGA Mike Johnson. They made their pilgrimage dressed like Trump, blue suit, red tie. Will these be modern-day versions of the Schutzstaffel uniforms? Are USA insignias stamped with "In Trump We Trust" to follow?

The Mr. Tates of Trumpworld. No spine, no convictions, no opinions of their own- only 100% devotion to one man.  A man who devotes himself to no one but himself.  The new Brownshirts of MAGA brought to you by the saint of perpetual victimhood - Donald Trump.